ALIAS HILLBILLIES, Year 3 CH1
by daria22075
Summary: The good ole Alias clan is back! Yet, are they any smarter?
1. Default Chapter

Hong Kong, Syd has just called the CIA. It's nighttime, Syd is sitting alone in the back of a Chinese restaurant. Vaughn walks in.  
  
Vaughn: I'm here. (eating) This sweet and sour chicken is really good. (looks up) Holy cr*p! Holy cr*p. I see dead people. Oh my God. Are you real? (pokes her arm)  
  
Sydney: (hugs him) I've missed you.  
  
Vaughn: Hey, get off me! I'm a married man.  
  
Sydney: You're married? What? How?  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, like everyone thought you were dead.   
  
Sydney: What?  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want anything?  
  
Sydney: Hold on a minute. How long have I been dead?  
  
Vaughn: Um...(starts thinking- begins counting on his fingers)  
  
Sydney: How long?  
  
Vaughn: You just made lose count. (starts counting again)  
  
Sydney: Forget about it. What happened to Francie? Will?  
  
Vaughn: Who?  
  
Sydney: This isn't real. You're a clone!  
  
Vaughn: I'm no clown!!!  
  
Sydney: (kicks him and then runs away)  
  
Vaughn: Owwww!!!!!  
  
Hospital: Sydney awakes in bed, Weiss is by her side.  
  
Sydney: Hey.  
  
Weiss: Hey. (looks at her food tray) You're not gonna eat that, are you?  
  
Sydney: No.  
  
Dixon: (enters) How are you? Anyways, guess what! I'm the head of the CIA.  
  
Sydney: How'd you....  
  
Dixon: No time to talk. Gotta go have dinner with Bush. Chow. (leaves)  
  
Sydney: I have to get to headquarters (gets out of bed) Where can I find Vaughn?  
  
High School: Sydney enters an English class.  
  
Student #1: So what exactly happens in "Death of a Salesman"  
  
Vaughn: Duh, some dude who likes to sail around world dies. Next?  
  
Student #2: In "Romeo and Juliet", can Juliet's death be considered ironic?  
  
Vaughn: Romeo and Juliet..(thinking) Oh, the one with Leonardo DiCaprio. Nope. Never seen it. Next?  
  
Student#1: Who is considered the main protagonist in "Oedipus Rex"?  
  
Vaughn: The main what?  
  
Student#1: The main character?  
  
Vaughn: Oh, its the dinasour.  
  
Student #3: How did you end up becoming an English teacher?  
  
Vaughn: Oh, well. I was in the CIA and I started dating my partner, this really hot chick, but then she died ya know and I didn't want to be in the CIA anymore and..I..mean...because I really like to read English so I chose that as my major. Um..yeah..  
  
Bell rings  
  
Sydney: (enters classroom)  
  
Vaughn: (looks up) Hey, I didn't know you go to high school. I thought you graduated?  
  
Sydney: No, I came here to see you.  
  
Vaughn: You're not gonna kick me again are you? It took three Scooby-Doo band aids to cover my owie.  
  
Sydney: No. (stares at him with a horny look in her eye)  
  
Vaughn: You know, ever since you died and your house burned up, there was always something I regretted.  
  
Sydney: What's that?  
  
Vaughn: Not taking my Spider-Man pajamas home with me. I had a gut instinct not to leave em at your house that morning. But stupid me....  
  
Sydney: I need you to watch this tape, my dad found it and well..  
  
Vaughn: What? It's not that 'special' tape we made together, is it?  
  
Sydney: No, that was destroyed in the fire.  
  
Vaughn: Yeah but I have a couple copies at my house...yeah, it did burn up in the fire.  
  
Sydney: Watch. (puts tape in VCR, shows her killing some dude)  
  
Vaughn: Wow, your calves look fat in that video.  
  
Sydney: That's what I was doing during those two years I was missing.  
  
Vaughn: If you were just going around killing people, then why did you tell everyone you were dead 


	2. ALIAS HILLBILLIES Year 3, CH2

Syd's new apartment, Weiss is helping her move in.  
  
Weiss: Where do you want this box?  
  
Sydney: Um...over there is fine. So, exactly how did Vaughn and his wife meet?  
  
Weiss: (looking in fridge) The previous owners left Chinese food (sniffs carton-tastes it) It's still good.  
  
Sydney: So, how'd they meet?  
  
Weiss: (talking with mouthfull) You don't want to know.  
  
Sydney: Yes I do! I don't get how he could move on and marry someone when I'd only been gone two years.  
  
Weiss: Um..Danny was only gone for about a year and a half before you started doing Vaughn.  
  
Sydney: Danny? Oh, Danny. That's different.  
  
CIA Headquarters. Jack and Sydney talking.  
  
Jack: Dixon wants Vaughn to come back to the CIA.  
  
Sydney: Then why doesn't he.  
  
Jack: His..wife..won't let him. (looks behind Sydney)  
  
Sydney: (turns around-notices a woman with unkept hair, no make up, a manly suit and manly shoes)  
  
Connie: Hello Sydney. I'm Lauren, Lauren Vaughn.  
  
Sydney: Hello.  
  
Jack: We were just discussing Vaughn coming back to the CIA.  
  
Connie: Yeah, I think he'd be to frail. He'd probably break a bone the first day on the job. Besides, I like him not having a busy schedule, I don't want him to fall behind on the house work.   
  
CIA Briefing Room  
  
Dixon: We've heard from sources that Sark will be in Mexico. Weiss and Sydney, you're to go there, find out who he's meeting with, and then report back. Marshall, what high-tech gear did you invent for Sydney to take along while she's undercover.  
  
Marshall: Oh, right. Let's see...here's some cool sunglasses....  
  
Sydney: Is there a camera inside them?  
  
Marshall: No. They're just sunglasses. Here's your camera (pulls out a large old fashioned camera) See..you just stick it under the poncho you'll be wearing and then just pull it out whenever you want to take photos.  
  
Vaughn: (enters)  
  
Dixon: Vaughn. I'm glad to see you came.  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, I kind of got tired off teaching. All they wanted to do was talk about books. God. They were so boring. What are we talking about?  
  
Dixon: Weiss and Sydney are going to go to Mexico...  
  
Vaughn: Oh, oh, bring me back a taco.  
  
Dixon: What?  
  
Vaughn: I've never had an authentic Mexican taco, just the ones of good old Taco Bell. Oh, Weiss, what are you doing tonight?  
  
Weiss: Nothin, why?  
  
Vaughn: You wanna go shopping with me. It's Lauren and my anniversary and she wants a new flannel shirt. Should I go with red or blue? Or maybe I should get her a new Baywatch Babes video, her old copy is worn out. Anyways, we can shop late, she was going out with Susan, one of her friends from her hunting class.  
  
Dixon: You're wife hunts? And wears flannel? And likes..Baywatch?  
  
Jack: So, uh, what exactly will her and Susan be doing this evening. Maybe sipping wine in front of a romantic fire, wearing nothing but a...  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, how'd you know their plans? Maybe I should get her a Spider-man poster like I got you Syd, before you died. (looks at Syd) What's with the sad look, I thought you liked that poster. Geez, try to do something nice for a girl.  
  
Weiss: I wouldn't know, I'v never had a girlfriend.  
  
Vaughn: Hey, maybe Lauren can set you up with one of her friends!  
  
Syd's new apartment, Weiss is helping her move in.  
  
Weiss: Where do you want this box?  
  
Sydney: Um...over there is fine. So, exactly how did Vaughn and his wife meet?  
  
Weiss: (looking in fridge) The previous owners left Chinese food (sniffs carton-tastes it) It's still good.  
  
Sydney: So, how'd they meet?  
  
Weiss: (talking with mouthfull) You don't want to know.  
  
Sydney: Yes I do! I don't get how he could move on and marry someone when I'd only been gone two years.  
  
Weiss: Um..Danny was only gone for about a year and a half before you started doing Vaughn.  
  
Sydney: Danny? Oh, Danny. That's different.  
  
CIA Headquarters. Jack and Sydney talking.  
  
Jack: Dixon wants Vaughn to come back to the CIA.  
  
Sydney: Then why doesn't he.  
  
Jack: His..wife..won't let him. (looks behind Sydney)  
  
Sydney: (turns around-notices a woman with unkept hair, no make up, a manly suit and manly shoes)  
  
Connie: Hello Sydney. I'm Lauren, Lauren Vaughn.  
  
Sydney: Hello.  
  
Jack: We were just discussing Vaughn coming back to the CIA.  
  
Connie: Yeah, I think he'd be to frail. He'd probably break a bone the first day on the job. Besides, I like him not having a busy schedule, I don't want him to fall behind on the house work.   
  
CIA Briefing Room  
  
Dixon: We've heard from sources that Sark will be in Mexico. Weiss and Sydney, you're to go there, find out who he's meeting with, and then report back. Marshall, what high-tech gear did you invent for Sydney to take along while she's undercover.  
  
Marshall: Oh, right. Let's see...here's some cool sunglasses....  
  
Sydney: Is there a camera inside them?  
  
Marshall: No. They're just sunglasses. Here's your camera (pulls out a large old fashioned camera) See..you just stick it under the poncho you'll be wearing and then just pull it out whenever you want to take photos.  
  
Vaughn: (enters)  
  
Dixon: Vaughn. I'm glad to see you came.  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, I kind of got tired off teaching. All they wanted to do was talk about books. God. They were so boring. What are we talking about?  
  
Dixon: Weiss and Sydney are going to go to Mexico...  
  
Vaughn: Oh, oh, bring me back a taco.  
  
Dixon: What?  
  
Vaughn: I've never had an authentic Mexican taco, just the ones of good old Taco Bell. Oh, Weiss, what are you doing tonight?  
  
Weiss: Nothin, why?  
  
Vaughn: You wanna go shopping with me. It's Lauren and my anniversary and she wants a new flannel shirt. Should I go with red or blue? Or maybe I should get her a new Baywatch Babes video, her old copy is worn out. Anyways, we can shop late, she was going out with Susan, one of her friends from her hunting class.  
  
Dixon: You're wife hunts? And wears flannel? And likes..Baywatch?  
  
Jack: So, uh, what exactly will her and Susan be doing this evening. Maybe sipping wine in front of a romantic fire, wearing nothing but a...  
  
Vaughn: Yeah, how'd you know their plans? Maybe I should get her a Spider-man poster like I got you Syd, before you died. (looks at Syd) What's with the sad look, I thought you liked that poster. Geez, try to do something nice for a girl.  
  
Weiss: I wouldn't know, I'v never had a girlfriend.  
  
Vaughn: Hey, maybe Lauren can set you up with one of her friends! 


End file.
